she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
