guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
