ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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