Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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