New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
