Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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