He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Holy shit dude........stairs
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
