how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
