I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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