grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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