She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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