go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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