wat bout pragnant strippers??
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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