Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
