he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
