I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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