Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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