this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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