Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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