Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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