It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
