he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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