I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
