Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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