I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
