Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
