after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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