I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
