fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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