no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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