I'm so fucking centered right now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
