Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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