I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
