This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I FOUND THE LEGS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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