Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
