If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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