I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
my poor anus
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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