We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
