Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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