I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
