I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
