I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
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