Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
