now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
