My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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