Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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