I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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