Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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