For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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