i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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