i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Fuck appropriateness.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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