you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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