I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
