i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
