if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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