I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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