Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
