so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
