Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
