I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
