that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We are two peas in an std pod
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
