I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
