Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
